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My Dad has passed on...
On Thursday the 10th March 2005 my Dad died due to complications arising from Pancreatic Cancer.
God bless him.
Find below his eulogy as written and read by myself at his funeral.
Eulogy
Arturo Marasco
17th March 2005
Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for coming and to help celebrate my father's life. I am happy to be able to look and see the faces of those people that were special to dad and those that supported all of us during our time of need. Your presence here honours me but more importantly, it honours my father and I thank you on his behalf.
It has been said that the loss of a parent is one of life's more traumatic events. I now know the truth of the statement. However I have been told that in time the hurt fades to be replaced by soothing positive memories. And so, whilst I can say that I will continue to have my moments I can add that the soothing process has already begun.
On Thursday of last week the day had come that I knew was inevitable but I always dreaded. My father had died after a gallant battle against a host of challenges.
I feel it is fitting to briefly enlighten you about dad's general life events.
He was born in the small town of Soveria Manelli in Calabria in 1938. The first son of proud parents Ottavio and Adelina. I suppose that the most dramatic part of dad's early life was the Second World War. Although young he could vividly describe the sounds and sights of German bombers flying overhead as they tried to stifle the progress of allied soldiers below.
Like so many Italians he landed on our shores here in Australia in the same year that Melbourne hosted the Olympic Games. In the following year he began courting someone whom he had known for his entire life and that someone soon became my mum. He married Francesca Marasco in 1958 and they started their family in 1961 when I was born and this was followed by John my brother in 1966.
Dads first years in Australia saw him live for the most part in Richmond and to a lesser extent in Fitzroy and Collingwood before settling in the Heidelberg area. In terms of livelihood he worked in the manufacturing sector as a production manager for a leather goods establishment before joining what was then known as the Victorian Railways. There he worked as a train guard and finally in a training capacity for the same role. In 1987 Dad went in partnership with none other than me and together with mum and my wife Joy we ran a coffee and food shop at the Northland Shopping Centre for the next 4 years.
Of course there is much than can be said about my father but one characteristic of his life demands special mention. I refer to the degree to which he was devoted to his family and in particular his grandchildren Alexandra, Mark, Olivia and Adele. His attachment and affection to the kids was extraordinary even to finest of details. He poured vast amounts of love and energy into the children even when gravely ill.
Amongst his favourite experiences was the gathering of family at the holiday home at Phillip Island. He loved going fishing and especially floundering and was excellent at it. He loved going to the beach and long walks but above all the simple get-together of the family was what pleased him most. When I say family, I also refer to his younger brother Jim and sister-in-law Helen who also had a holiday home nearby and whom he loved very much.
Dad battled his illness for 22 months following initial diagnosis. At all times he was immensely brave and he spent little time complaining or feeling sorry for his circumstances. He did everything for himself until the very end. Indeed, he drove his own car just the day before his death; he booked his own transport to the emergency department on his very last day. He kept his dignity intact until his last breath and this too was due to the compassionate care he received. I now know that a person is measured not by how they handle their affairs when it is all good it is all easy but how one reacts when faced with tremendous adversity and hardship. It is here that my father truly excelled for not only did he know what lay ahead but also his day-to-day circumstances were daunting. His mind ticked accurately until the end, his body however had had enough.
Dad was a simple man. I wish to read a very short piece, which my father wrote several years ago. He wanted me to read it the next time I was at his home. I have it here in its original form although it's looking rather tacky now.
It's entitled "Suggestions that might help achieve simplicity"
He wrote:
- "We live in a fragile world: Learn to conserve energy.
- Many of our health problems are due to overindulgence.
- How many clothes do we really need? Most of us have much more than we need.
- Be reflective. A simple lifestyle is an uncluttered one. As we become less dependent on things, we gain more control of our lives. Happiness cannot be achieved by the relentless pursuit of material benefits.
- A simple life, a humble lifestyle is a necessary way to allow us to be happy and peaceful within ourselves and with others".
I think you will agree that the piece is somewhat disjointed but I am sure that we can all appreciate the essence of what he was saying.
My Dad would not suggest that he was the perfect father and I was definitely not the perfect son. I can tell you that we did occasionally have our petty differences but I can also add that neither of us ever harboured any angst or more accurately, our disparity would be sorted out very quickly.
My father will not have any parks, buildings or roads named after him but if we can measure a mans success by noting where he started, particularly in Australia, and where he finished then I can honestly say that he was a successful man.
Our father has died. It would be difficult for me to say a sadder sentence.
I am proud of how we all supported one another during what was a profoundly sad state of affairs. Not just in the past week but over nearly two years.
There is an eastern axiom, which says that you must learn to appreciate the source from whence you drink. Today, as I reflect on my source of wisdom, I realize how much I miss him, how much I love him, but his legacy will live on through the lives of all he touched with his love, his friendship and his wisdom.
Thank you very much.
http://pathology.jhu.edu/pancreas/
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/pancreas
http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?id=DS00357
http://www.oncologychannel.com/pancreaticcancer/
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